I like to think that I’m not scared of anything. Besides those 8-legged creepers. And moths. Why do they always fly right at my face? Anyways, it turns out that I am quite scared of writer’s rejection. I’ve always been told that I’m a ‘good’ writer, but what if ‘good’ isn’t good enough? I have these ideas that I put down on paper only to think “well I think I’m funny and the story makes sense to me, but what if no one else likes or understands it?” That’s what editors and beta testers are for, you say. Well it turns out I’m too scared of what they may say that I’m dragging my feet with writing. I think my head may explode with these ideas before I buck up and write them down.
Buck up. That’s what I always tell my friends when they are faced with something they don’t like or want to do. It’s cowboy logic at it’s best and seems to apply nicely to most situations. If you buck up and the situation doesn’t go your way, then it was a character building exercise. This is my own logic and yet I seem unable to apply it to myself. I need to buck up and write. If I submit my piece and it is rejected, then it was a character building exercise. I can take the (hopefully constructive) criticism and make my next submission better. Well, now I know why my friends always rolled their eyes when I gave them this advice.
Despite all of this, today I am taking the plunge. I started a piece that I will be submitting to the Amtrak Writer’s Residency program this week. The chances of me getting one of the residency spots is astronomical, but it’s still worth a shot. If nothing else, this submission will provide me the beginning portion of my novel. I have a feeling that this is exactly what I needed to get the ball rolling!